Chart Review: 11th October 2024
Making sense of a nation’s musical tastes.
A strange week in the charts as far as new gear goes. We’ve only one genuine new entry and a few re-entries, but two of them are rather curious in nature. Firstly, at (40) is Milli Vanilli with “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You”. Technically speaking this is a new entry in that it’s never touched the UK charts before, but the song does date from 1989. When something like this happens, I turn to YouTube to find out why a song of 35 years’ vintage has suddenly cracked the Top 40. In this instance it turns out it’s featured in that Netflix drama Monsters: The Lyle And Erik Menendez Story. I haven’t seen it; indeed I find it slightly annoying that the broadcasters assume I know who “Lyle and Erik Menendez” are to the point that their names alone would lure me in (they murdered their parents, I’ve gleaned).
I know Milli Vanilli only for a couple of factoids - firstly that there was a furore when it turned out the faces of the group - who I believe operated under Milli and Vanilli - didn’t sing their own stuff, and secondly that one of them died under tragic circumstances. With the cavalcade of manufactured pop that would follow in the next decade and a half, it seems quite prudish now to get bent out of shape over a label-made act not singing their own stuff. I think the pair of them became punchlines after the reveal and were dragged over the coals, which can’t have been nice, but you’d have to imagine if you were them you’d be waiting for the other shoe to drop to some extent.
Anyway listening to this song, it seems all the more insane to get up in arms about who’s singing and who isn’t. This is pap, and not fun pap or memorable pap. It’s hard to imagine the two chaps in the video doing a substantially worse job with the vocals than the studio talent, who sound like they’re running out of breath even though they’re not exerting themselves in the least. Every bit of the backing track sounds like a keyboard preset, especially the horrible popping percussion. If the most interesting thing about your band is that you didn’t sing some songs, something’s gone wrong.
At (37) is “Don’t Dream It’s Over”, a re-entry from Crowded House. A quick look to see why this 1986 single is back in the zeitgeist (sort of) and - yep, this one’s from that Monsters show too. No one I know has copped to watching this, but evidently it’s reinvigorating the careers of late ‘80s musicians if nothing else. Crowded House were a big part of my childhood, being one of my mum’s favourite bands, and I have to say I love this song. Neil Finn’s a great songwriter, with a great turn of phrase and a voice that’s, in the best way, relatively ordinary. He sounds vulnerable, sincere.
The production on this is so lush, too. The percussion is minimalist but every part of it is crisp, the bass runs are gorgeous and smooth, the guitar parts are varied and lovely. Then you get a fat old organ solo like you’re in Procol Harum or something. Unsurprisingly the comments section is full of bores bemoaning the state of modern music and wishing they could go back to the glory days of 1986, but for the four minutes this song is on, I could just about bring myself to join them. This style of soft rock feels well in vogue nowadays, so more power to Finn and co for getting back in the charts.
The same can’t be said for “Thick Of It”, a tune by KSI that has somehow debuted at (14). I know barely anything about KSI but I had no idea he even dabbled in music. This is one of those songs that, because of who it’s by and how bad it is, you can’t quite be sure if it’s a serious effort or not, but there’s nothing remotely amusing about it, no wink or nod to suggest the YouTuber turned boxer turned energy drink magnate is fucking around.
So taking it at face value, it’s just an appalling song. KSI’s voice - even buried beneath layers of processing - is terrible, raspy, unpleasant, and smug. The beat is beyond generic - apparently it’s sampling “Snow” by Red Hot Chilli Peppers, which I don’t think I’d have picked up on, but amusingly means that the Californians are forced to share a songwriting credit on this piece of shit. The lyrics are a list of KSI’s achievements. I should note I’m not one of these tedious tossers who gripes about a bloke becoming successful in a medium I don’t understand - fill yer boots, mate. But it doesn’t exactly make for engaging copy in the lyric book. Trippie Redd (who I’m not familiar with) features on it - he’s one of these autotune guys, which isn’t my thing, but in comparison to the main artist, he comes across as so charismatic that he ought to think about linking up again. KSI went on to post a video titled “The hate on my music is forced,” suggesting he’s thin skinned as well as amazingly musically ungifted.
Sabrina Carpenter at the top again with “Taste”.
Pick of the week: Crowded House - “Don’t Dream It’s Over”
