Chart Review: 13th September 2024

Making sense of a nation’s musical tastes.

Three new bits to look at this week, then there’s the mini furore around the VMAs to round things off. At (38) we’ve got Central Cee featuring Raye with “Moi”. Cee continues his smartly handled rise in the business with another more than solid track as the hype on his as-yet unscheduled album builds. This isn’t as strong as some of his more thematically coherent songs - he’s not got a boatload to say on this one beyond stating his bonafides as a road rapper - but as per with Cee, he has enough confidence in his lyrical content to say his bars loud and proud (even though some of the material on this track isn’t among his best). 

While it isn’t his clearest approach topically, building the song around the French theme works nicely. Raye’s only around for the intro and her quick torch singer verse about lost love isn’t really in keeping with the rest of the tune (other than being in French) but her presence certainly adds a bit of wattage to proceedings. Without being enormously invested in the guy, I’ve enjoyed nearly everything Cee has put out so far (with the exception of that one crap acoustic ballad), so when the LP does drop, theoretically some time this year, I’ll get involved, I think. 

At (36) is Alex Warren with “Carry You Home”, breaking the Top 40 for the first time. I’m now worried. Between this, that Myles Smith one, and that cold ice tea in warm weather song, it seems we’re in a new boom period of this terrible folky rock for adverts. We must be the best part of a decade away from the Mumfords’ best days and the coattail riders who made their cash while that stuff was acceptable, and I really thought we’d seen the back of it. Well, this deeply tedious stomp-clap shit rides again. 

This is by the numbers to say the least, you could have constructed this song out of a kit. It starts with a little bit of gently plucked guitars, then it becomes more anthemic with big reverby backing vocals, a shitty little banjo strum strumming away, and percussion made of nothing but 1x stomp and 1x clap. They’ve even got the oh-oh-ohs in there between choruses and verses. The lyrics are about lovely love with no real peril. In the video Warren has a huge crucifix around his neck, so take from that what you will. I think this might be my absolute least favourite kind of music in the whole wide world. 

Debuting strong at (4) is Linkin Park with “The Emptiness Machine”. Because I gave up on these guys after the first LP, I think I forget just how massive a band they remain. They’ve some real ride or die fans, as evidenced by such a strong showing in spite of the controversy behind new singer Emily Armstrong. The furore seems to be two pronged - firstly, the very fact that the band are replacing Chester Beddington after his suicide some years ago, and secondly, the personal life of the new recruit. I think the former is a moot point and no one’s business but Linkin Park’s; If they want to keep going with the band that’s their prerogative, at the end of the day they’ve gotta eat too, they’re not the first band to replace a deceased former member, &c, &c. 

The issue behind Armstrong herself is a little more interesting. It seems that she’s a) an active Scientologist and b) one of these weirdos who defended or otherwise wrote letters in support of rapist Danny Masterson after his conviction. While I don’t really have the desire to learn the ins and outs of this particular tale, you can certainly see why this would ruffle the feathers of fans. 

The song’s perfectly decent - it sounds like business as usual for the veteran nu metallers, with a bit more pop and polish than they once had. The verses I think are a little bit too cheery and chirpy - there’s a surprising major chord in the first line that doesn’t sound right to be. When they drop the heavy guitars and start with the angsty screaming, it’s decent enough gear. Whatever the personal details, Armstrong’s voice is good and I think she’s in a sweet spot between sounding a lot like Beddington while having her own identity. 

Sabrina Carpenter’s “Taste” is top of the pops once again, though if the VMAs had their way, they’d probably give the gong to Taylor Swift. She cleaned up once more at the awards, including taking the gong for Song Of The Summer for “Fortnight”. If anyone gives a shit about this particular ceremony, which I don’t think they do, that will be the Crash Best Picture equivalent of the VMAs.

Pick of the week: Central Cee feat. Raye - “Moi”