Network PPV Reviews #009: WWE Money In The Bank 2015

Combing the WWE network one Pay Per View at a time 

The show opens with a dedication to Dusty Rhodes, who had recently died, with the whole roster on the stage to honour him. It’s wrestling, so while this is a nice idea, it loses a little in execution, most notably in the form of Curtis Axel and Damien Sandow, respectively dressed as Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, which was the style at the time. Just have them wear normal clothes for this bit maybe. I doubt they’re on the show proper. Dusty’s “Common Man” theme plays and the roster clap sort-of in time to it for far too long. There’s a hype package which is shot from the POV of the briefcase suspended above the ring. The big matches are corporate Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose and part two in John Cena and Kevin Owens’ trilogy. The first match of that series is an all-time fave of mine. 

Money In The Bank Ladder Match

This is announced as “the” MITB match, so I assume there’s no brand split at this time. Seems funny to kick off with the feature match in that case. Randy Orton is out first. I think he’s passed through his boring phase and into meme territory at this point, so everyone’s happy to see him. He does his daft pose. Neville comes out to some pyro and a strong theme that sounds like The Prodigy; on the other hand he’s called “Neville” and wears a shit cape. His work’s always great but he’s never quite got to where he should have in my view. Kane comes out looking like dogshit. Next is Dolph Ziggler. He’s got a battle vest on and he’s accompanied by Lana, which I couldn’t have told you happened. He’s the most over guy thus far give or take Orton. Kofi Kingston enters - he’s part of the New Day but they’re not yet the beloved group they’d become when they figured out what they actually are. They’ve still got the gospels singers and serve to piss folk off. Sheamus comes in to a very weird tron video - the footage goes Irish beach / church / Christ on the cross / close up of Christ’s face. Roman Reigns emerges through the crowd to complete the septet. He gets a mixed response - he’s not fully despised at this point by any means. 

The brawl starts up. Kofi sneaks away to set up and climb a ladder. The rest put paid to this then take it in turns trying to climb. A sign in the crowd amusingly says “Dolph is All In”, three years prior to the inaugural event of the same name. Sheamus clonks everyone with a ladder and subdues Randy outside. He gets “you look stupid” chants, presumably in reference to his regrettable mohawk. Kofi finds himself alone on a ladder again and does the can’t quite reach the briefcase bit. Sheamus dumps him. Neville and Kofi get to do some fast stuff which makes you wish you were just watching a one-on-one with them. Neville monkey flips Kingston who lands on the ladder and starts to climb, which is nice. Neville chases him up but Roman returns and pulls both down. Roman’s not especially interested in taking any moves, countering everything the two wee lads have to throw and powerbombing each of them in turn onto a ladder in the corner. 

Roman does the Warrior rope shake then starts his own climb, but Kane chokeslams him off the ladder. Kane’s ascent is then halted by an RKO from Randy. The crowd loves it. Kofi pops in - another RKO, another pop. Neville springboards into the ring and onto the ladder. Randy yanks him down for - that’s right - an RKO. That was smooth stuff. Sheamus and Randy duke it out for a while until a brogue kick from the Irishman gains him control. Sheamus lumps up the ladder but Ziggler finally returns and sprints up the other side. They fight at the top until Sheamus neatly yanks Dolph across the way to set up for white noise. Ziggler gets a sleeper on and Sheamus gingerly (no pun intended) climbs down. Neville hits his aesthetically lovely Red Arrow off the top to “NXT” chants. Now it’s Nev and Ziggler’s turn to fight off top. Kane puts paid to this. The two small chaps try to double team Kane with the ladder but he’s not interested in that. He boots the hardware then baseball slides it into Dolph on the outside. Everyone makes their way out so Roman can hit a big Undertaker style dive to the floor. It’s a beaut to be fair. 

The other two New Day boys are out, being heels. That’s not like them. They assist Kofi briefly but Roman hits a drive-by on the pair of them. Roman powerbombs Kofi out of the ring and onto Big E and Xavier Woods. Randy stalks him but Roman ducks the RKO, then Orton avoids the Superman punch, finally eating a spear. Very neat sequence. Roman climbs, but the lights snap out and we see the Wyatt Family video, complete with that little “blehh” noise (which I love). Here’s Bray, in a butcher’s apron. He gleefully pushes Roman off the latter and hits the Sister Abigail. Sheamus looks to feed off the scraps. He’s briefly waylaid by Neville. They fight up top. “England and Ireland, they’ve been fighting for centuries” says JBL, rather glibly. Sheamus roughly hurls Neville off by his hair and grabs the case. 

Verdict: It never threatens to be great and you really don’t need seven men (especially if one of them is Kane, doing nothing), but it’s a strong field. Functional with no massive bumps but it’s pretty logical stuff and the winner’s half surprising. ***

We get the ad about not trying this at home. They don’t do that anymore I think so it’s fine now.

Renee Young interviews Paige. Two who’ve left for AEW now. Paige gets a good pop but she’s left to twist in the wind a little bit with a promo that goes on for too long. She’s looking to wrest the title off the Bellas, who’ve been running roughshod over the women’s division (note: this is exactly the same story we’ll get with Ambrose and Rollins). They’re still calling themselves and each other “divas” at this point, which is just mad. At one point they cut back to the arena and a fat lad stands up and slow claps the promo, which is very funny I’m afraid. 

Divas’ Championship: Nikki Bella (c) vs Paige

“She speaks two languages - English and body” says Lawyer re: Nikki Bella as the champ enters.  Even by his standards that’s nonsense. Paige actually gets heavy music which certainly helps to separate her from the pack. Nikki struts her stuff early in the match, doing star jumps and push ups to show that Paige is no threat. Paige hits a senton off the apron but is then caught while climbing the barricade and dumped off Nikki’s shoulders. Nikki lifts the ring skirt so as to more effectively charge Paige into it, which doesn’t seem like it can make much of a difference. Some of the other divas (including Natalya and Naomi, both still employed) cheer on Paige from the back. “I think all women despise each other,” says Jerry of this. Paige gets a two count from a knee to the jaw but Nikki explodes back with a clothesline. 

Nikki hits a slingshot suplex and puts the squeeze on Paige with a body scissors. Paige fights out, eventually going for a sharpshooter, but Nikki fights out and hits quite a nice spinebuster. Showboating goes wrong for Nikki. Paige gets her submission on which is a bit like Rhea Ripley’s cloverleaf-esque thing. Nikki manages a disaster kick a la Cody Rhodes but Paige grabs her DDT finisher. The crowd comes to life at this. It’s only a two. Paige tries to position Nikki up top but they exchange blows and both tumble outside. Nikki does the twin switcheroo with Brie, hiding under the ring. Paige doesn’t notice and drags who she thinks is her opponent into the ring. Brie tries to roll Paige up but it’s reversed for a three. Paige thinks she’s won but Brie reveals the sad truth, by way of removing the stuffing from her bra (meaning the company had either highlighted, or expected fans to be across, the sisters’ relative bust sizes) and pointing to some rather saucy tattoos on her pelvic region. Nikki hits the rack attack and that’s the three. 

Verdict: The match is OK for the time but the fact they popped in a Dusty finish is just lovely. What a tribute to the big chap. **½ 

Nikki pretends to dry her eyes on the stuffing Brie had in her shirt. “I wish I were a Bella” says JBL. 

We get a flashback to the Elimination Chamber match for the Intercontinental Championship, which I believe is famously bad. Ryback wins it. He’s latterly challenged by The Miz, but Big Show interrupts that match on Raw and insists that he, not The Miz, will be wresting the belt from Ryback. So we’re getting that match. Oh good. 

Intercontinental Championship: Ryback (c) vs Big Show

Here comes The Miz. Oh good. He gets some cheap heat slagging off Ohio, even though he’s from Ohio. The scandal! He says unless you’re in NYC or LA, what’s the point of it all? “In Hollywood you can have retakes. You can get more takes” he says. Shame he couldn’t have another take of that. No one cares at all about what he’s saying here unfortunately. I like The Miz but he’s all over the place at this point. “I will create an audiovisual masterpiece” he says - i.e. he’s on comms. 

Big Show is next out. The crowd’s not the liveliest at the best of times but there really is no reaction to this bonafide star. Here’s Ryback. He’s an odd proposition in hindsight. The “feed me more” catchphrase is good and got over, but he does a weird waggly hands motion that just isn’t anything. “Wake up, it’s feeding time,” he says. That’s what you say to a baby. One lady holds up a sign that says “You can EAT ME Ryback,” which I’m surprised didn’t get confiscated. We get another flashback to Raw. None would have been plenty. Miz attacked Big Show and got beaten up. Ryback hit his Shellshock move on Big Show, fair play, that’s quite good. 

Ryback hits a spinebuster and a lariat. He tries to hit Shellshock early but Show wriggles out. Ryback clotheslines the pair of them over the top. That looked pretty good. Ryback, famously quite rough, manhandles Miz a bit. Back in the ring, Show hits a spear out of the corner. For once it looks good, probably because he actually has something to hit here. “I’m a giant,” he shouts. You sure are, pal. He gets a few please retire chants. “I’m not saying Big Show is big but the picture I took of him at Christmas is still grinning,” Lawler says, or I think that’s what he said (“developing” would make sense but I don’t think that’s what he said!). You’re fine to say Big Show is big, that’s kind of the point. Ryback turns a chokeslam attempt into an armbar. I don’t want to see Ryback doing an armbar. He pops the crowd with a good suplex on Show. He charges but eats a chokeslam. Big Show primes his daffy punch. That move really irks me. It’s just a punch. A few counters and the two slop to the outside, where Miz sets upon both men. He clouts both with the mic. That’s the DQ. The crowd boos. They can’t possibly have wanted more of that.

Verdict: Both lads are game but Ryback’s just not good and Big Show is over the hill. Miz barely does anything then ruins (sort of - I was glad it was over) the match. *

Ryback retains the championship which gets a bit of a cheer. Big Show seethes. Surely he doesn’t really want to be IC champion. 

John Cena vs Kevin Owens

Their first bout came just two weeks prior to this. I can remember watching it during a time when I wasn't into wrestling and loving it. It’s a totally clean loss from Cena during his fantastic US Championship run. That belt’s not on the line here. The video package has Owens picking a deadly angle against Cena, just telling the guy “you are cringe and boring”. He’s so great on the mic. He gets a heck of a pop (one of those deep pops where all the men are behind him) as he enters. Incidentally I think his is one of the all-time best WWE rebrands. Kevin Owens is a better name than Kevin Steen. Cena gets heckled big time. He holds up his divvy little flag thing and talks some motivational blather into the camera. The pair hold up their respective belts, Owens being NXT Champion. 

They start off exchanging shoulder blocks. Cena keeps it wrestling but Owens just clocks him to illustrate that Kev is a man of violence. Cena powers out of a chinlock and starts up the five moves of doom sequence but Owens counters with a headlock takeover and runs through Cena’s sequence himself. He hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle - amusingly this also makes Cena rise to his feet. Cena wriggles out of the AA and locks in the STF, which looks less bad as normal. Owens counters this for another AA attempt but Cena switches out into a reverse suplex. That was impressive, and not a move you see him do every day. KO snatches a codebreaker but Cena floats over the attempted pop-up powerbomb. He can’t hoist the hefty Owens for a German suplex. A cannonball gets Owens a two. He hits a swanton from the top but Cena gets his knees up. Cena’s timing is so perfect here. Normally you see wrestlers just hold their knees in place for ages but he actually lifted them exactly as Owens crashed down. Cena hits the AA but it’s just a two. He jaws off at the ref. 

He tries for an avalanche AA off the ropes but Owens wriggles out. He gets Cena on his shoulders, spins him round and powerbombs him. That was so smooth. The first “this is awesome” chant of the night. A pop-up powerbomb is countered to a headscissors. They’ve not left the ring yet. Cena fights back from the corner and gets a tornado DDT. He misses his leg drop from the second rope. That looked painful. That’ll do your spine in. KO hits his package piledriver move (except it’s not a piledriver because of the rules), then shows off his agility by climbing the ropes, jumping a half turn and launching a moonsault. Cena dodges and gets another AA - but KO kicks again! Cena drags him to a corner. It looks like he deadlifts Kevin onto the turnbuckle - remarkable strength if so. John goes for the superplex but Owens counters into a second rope brainbuster. I don’t think anyone else in WWE is doing that in 2015. Cena sells like death - but he snatches a leg and locks on the STF! Kevin teases a tap a couple of times but eventually gets to the ropes. Cena goes for the code red - something goes a bit wrong and they back into the ropes, but see the spot through. In slo-mo the logic looked quite sound, i.e. with the momentum shifting here and there, but I’m pretty sure that was a botch (though one they saved). Owens hits a pop-up powerbomb for a two, but shortly after Cena hits his springboard cutter and the AA to get the win. 

Verdict: It’s a sudden finish but I think that’s to really give a reason to do this a third time. That’s a fucking great match. They win the crowd so much more than anyone else has managed so far. Both guys play their parts to perfection. ****½. 

The camera lingers on a large chap in a KO t-shirt who looks gutted. That’s so funny. If you asked a mean person to draw a wrestling fan they’d draw him. Owens shuffles to his feet. Cena shows him some respect. Cena (the actual bloke) really went out of his way to make sure Owens looked the business in this feud. He says that Owens belongs here in a patronising fashion. I think that’s the motivation for the rubber match. They shake hands but Kevin of course attacks Cena, which the crowd loves. He powerbombs Cena on the apron. Brilliant decision. Everyone there wants to see this match again. Infuriatingly Owens ends up losing, I think to the STF no less. Mad decision, but that’s another story. I forgot how good this second bout was. Cena shuffles out with the refs supporting him while the commentators do their stupid little solemn voiced chat.

Renee Young interviews Dean Ambrose. They’re married! He’s one of the most convincing promos in the biz. Good pop for the guy and he can follow a thread. He’s on about how he’s the real champ with Rolllins backed by the authority etc. The comms filling some time talking about Dusty. They all seem to have genuine fondness for the dude. Here’s a vid about him. We get to see Dustin and Cody inducting Rhodes into the HOF which is nice. A clip from the Shield vs Rhodes family stuff which is an incredible match. Very nice vid. Crowd chants for the man some more. 

Renee Young interviews Dean Ambrose. They’re married now! He gets one of the better pops. He’s a terrific promo and can follow a thread better than most. The thrust is that he feels he was cheated out of the title and that Rollins is a paper champion who needs The Authority to get his wins, which was essentially how the bloke was booked. Back to the commentary team, who are filling a bit of time rhapsodising about Dusty. We get a video package which starts with Rhodes wonderfully describing himself as “265lb of blue eyed soul” he calls himself. It’s soundtracked by “Philip Phillips” who is - let’s not put too fine a point on it - a poor man’s Chris Martin. There he is in polka dots dancing with Mean Gene. Don’t mind if I do.

WWE Tag Team Championships: The New Day (c) vs Primetime Players

It’s so jarring to see the heel new day. Big E gets some cheap heat slagging off the college football team. I know college ball is huge but it can’t help feeling small time. They ask the fans to get on their feet and give Kofi some “clap therapy”, i.e. to do the New Day clap. I assume that’s an STD joke; I’m not sure New Day are the guys for that (Woods maybe). There really is no response for the Primetime Players of Titus O’Neil and Darren Young. A pretty boring tweet from Titus is put up on the screen.

Young and Woods start off with some neat chain wrestling before E takes over with a massive belly to belly throw. New Day do the corner stomps. E puts a stretch on Young and slaps out the New Day rhythm on his foe’s tummy, which I like. New Day do what they can to milk this heat spot but no one really cares. At last Young manages to escape a powerbomb and tag in Titus. The big man runs around for a bit. Nothing he does looks especially impactful. E does his spear through the ropes and to the outside on Darren, which is a lot of effort for a match really no one is into. Woods tries to steal the win but a big spinebuster/powerbomb from Titus wins the match. We have new champions!

Verdict: Strange match. You can see how good E and Woods are and the other lads are fine, but this had no time and no heat. It’s a title change for the sake of it. I can’t imagine their reign lasted long. **

The new champs clamber into the crowd to celebrate, which is bold (i.e. assuming that anyone in the audience cares). We get a package for the main event. It seems at the last PPV Seth got himself disqualified to keep the belt. Roman, who’s pals with Dean, cuts a promo claiming Seth can’t do it alone. That sets Rollins off a la Marty McFly. He calls Kane a seven foot piece of crap. That’s accurate. Backstage, Kane tells Seth he’s looking forward to seeing the guy lose. Stephanie McMahon gives him an unhelpful pep talk - he’s determined to go it alone, so if he fucks up, it’s all his fault. Triple H gives him a more supportive talking up, which is nice of him.  

World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins (c) vs Dean Ambrose

A great pop for Ambrose, who (along with Seth and Roman) feels so much fresher than anything else going. Rollins enters to his old music, sans the “burn it down’. I like this so much more than his annoying singalong shit he has at the moment. In general I think he was just the best wrestler around at this time. 

The pace is frantic from the off, with Ambrose hurling Seth around the ring, working his ribs and back. Seth tries some counters and bungs Dean out for a breather, but the challenger is straight back in, He hits a Y2J style bulldog out of the corner. Seth uses Dean’s pace against him and crashes his face off the turnbuckle. He beats Ambrose on the outside, then heads towards the ladder, but Dean bursts into the ring then charges straight through the ropes to take Seth out. They begin to fight over the ladder - at one point it’s propped against the ring, and Seth starts to do something then gives up on a big spot. The ladder gets set up and the two take turns sprinting up it/pulling one another from the rungs. It’s quite old school - just two guys and one ladder, rather than tons of spots.

The ladder gets chucked in the corner. Suplexes are countered a few times, and ultimately Seth takes the bump. Seth eats a bionic elbow off the ladder in the latest Dusty tribute, but he pops back into the ring with a chair and begins to batter Ambrose’s knee. Seth locks in the post-assisted figure four. He locks in a standard figure four and - surprise surprise - Dean manages to reverse the pressure. Seth quickly wriggles out. He pops Ambrose in the tree of woe and batters the guy’s knee some more. When he gets free, Dean has enough to tip Seth off the ladder. He does his tiltawhirl thing in the ropes but gets a ladder launched at him. The ladder winds up on Dean’s leg and Seth hits it with a chair. That always looks a bit crap I find. In a nice spot, both men stand on the second rope and Ambrose launches one of his massive lariats, which Seth bumps huge for. It’s super smooth. They exchange strikes, and Ambrose clotheslines the pair of them over the ropes. 

Ambrose chases Seth up the ramp but gets launched off the barrier. Seth darts for the ring; there’s a great shot of Ambrose limping after him, movie monster style. They hit another Ambrose tiltawhirl spot, this time Seth countering the first one with a kick, only for Dean to spring off the ropes again for a clothesline. Seth spills into the crowd to run away which doesn’t make much sense in a ladder match. It sort of adds up when Seth waylays his foe and heads back to the ring alone, but Dean soon catches up with him. He sprints across the announcers’ tables to strike. A mild “this is awesome” chant meets this. A ladder bridge is built, and after some jockeying for position, Rollins is backdropped through it. Surprisingly Seth has taken both big bumps so far; maybe they didn’t trust Ambrose not to bleed. Dean sets up a ladder at length and climbs incredibly slowly. Seth manages to get back in to waylay this. They return to the outside and fight on the table after spilling over the top and somehow sending one of the Spanish announcers into the audience. They exchange punches and Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds on the table, which doesn’t break.

Back in the ring, Ambrose continues to sell very well. Rollins manages to catch him off and clock him with a monitor, then a pedigree (I think the curb stomp was verboten at this time). Rollins inches up the ladder. As he reaches the top, Ambrose grabs at him, so he comes all the way back down. That’s stupid, he was in touching distance of the gold. Anyway, Rollins batters Dean on the outside. A buckle bomb on the barricade followed by a sit out powerbomb on a pile of chairs. He buries Dean in plunder and gets back in the ring. He climbs, but Ambrose comes rushing out of the rubble. They tussle at the top over the belt. It comes undone, both fall off, but Seth has it in his clutches so he wins. 

Verdict: It’s a bit much to do a shitty little ending after a match as long as that. Still there aren’t really too many dead spots in this and I think they went out of their way to make this a logical encounter which certainly isn’t always the way for ladder matches. ***½ 

Seth shouts about how he did it all by himself. It’s an odd vibe for your champion I must say, even your heel champion. Especially since he never really wrestles like a coward in the ring. HHH comes out to celebrate and Seth flinches when he grabs him, which is funny. They stand around a bit awkwardly on the ramp as there’s 30 seconds or so to kill.

Overall verdict: Nothing terrible on here and it moves at a good clip. There really is only one match you need to see, but Owens/Cena is a proper, proper banger. B